


Rotten Judgement

by mddnapstablook



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, Pining, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 12:35:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16408616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mddnapstablook/pseuds/mddnapstablook
Summary: Cartman interrupted, “And that is all the proof I need that you lied. You can’t even remember what excuse you used, can you?"Kyle's been avoiding Cartman, but that can't keep going on forever, so he needs to get a handle on his feelings. Easier said than done.





	Rotten Judgement

Kyle stared blearily at the blank document open before him. He blinked his eyes a few times to clear his vision, but yeah, no, the page was still blank. The cursor flickered in a way his sleep deprived mind took to be taunting, but before he could start swearing at an inanimate object, he yawned. 

He was way too tired to write his essay right now. It’s not like he needed to do it right then; he was actually ahead of schedule, honestly. His rough draft hadn’t needed as much editing as he thought it would. The assignment wasn’t even due for a week. 

Kyle frowned. Stan was his partner for the project, however, and he liked to leave things to the last minute, which was why Kyle was so adamant about a schedule. He’d be a hypocrite if he slacked off on writing now. It’s not like it would be the first time Kyle had put his grades before sleeping. 

Still, as another yawn hit him so hard he thought his jaw might detach from his body, he decided he really, really, _really_ didn’t want to write a fucking essay right now. 

Kyle shut his computer off and flopped onto his bed, too tired to even bother changing into his pajamas. He kicked off his jeans and pulled his phone off the nightstand to check instagram, as per his usual bedtime ritual. 

He’d missed a text from Cartman, apparently. His thumb hesitated over the message icon. He could only guess what it could be about, and that didn’t make him feel any better about it. 

The thing was, Kyle had kind of been avoiding Cartman for the past few days. Nothing that he thought would be super noticeable, just sitting with Token at lunch or going straight home after school instead of going over to his house with the guys to play video games. It’s not like he’d never done those things before, after all. Token was a good friend, and with Sheila the way she was, it wasn’t really that weird for Kyle to have to go straight home for God only knows what reason. 

Knowing Cartman though, he’d have to realize what Kyle was doing. And he’d probably want answers. 

He left the text unanswered for the time being. 

Kyle sighed. It was his fault, he knew it was. He was the one that made things weird when they absolutely did not have to be, but then, when you have a dream like that-

Okay. Yeah. Kyle was avoiding Cartman because he had a dream about him. And that’s beyond stupid. He’s dreamt about his friends a lot before. That’s completely normal. He sees them every fucking day. It would probably be weird if he had never dreamt of his friends. Yeah. 

Except it wasn’t a normal dream, it was- well. It was one of those dreams that left him waking up feeling needy and gross and he’d just had one of those dreams about Eric fucking Cartman. How was he expected to look Cartman in the face after that? After- ew no, stop thinking about it. 

Even then, Kyle knew he was overreacting. He was a teenager, and it happened more often than he’d willingly admit. It was _normal_. He kept reminding himself of that. 

But even that seemed like a hollow reassurance to him when the first time he’d ever had a dream like that, it had, embarrassingly enough, starred Stan and Wendy. And he’d gone to school the next day and still sat by Stan at lunch and listened to him vent about math anyway.

There was like .002 seconds where he couldn’t look either of them in the eye, but he got over it because he knew the dream didn’t mean anything. He definitely wasn’t into Wendy, for starters. And maybe when he’d been figuring out his sexuality he had maybe thought about Stan a few times, but ultimately he was Kyle’s best friend, and that’s all he ever wanted them to be. Kyle had only initially been interested in Stan because crushing on Stan would be safe, in a sense. If he tried to imagine them together, like dating? He just couldn’t. Stan was Stan, you know? 

Which of course, just brought Kyle back to his problem. He didn’t like Cartman, right? It was just a dream. It didn’t mean anything. Just like it didn’t mean anything when Cartman had said Kyle looked nice in a button down shirts and suddenly that was all Kyle’s wardrobe was comprised of. It didn’t mean anything when after a really heated argument Kyle’s body would be buzzing for _something_ as they tried to catch their breaths, faces only, like, a centimeter apart. The way Kyle’s face would flush and he’d duck his head after Cartman would praise his intelligence was equally meaningless. 

Kyle’s phone buzzed in his hand from where he’d briefly been ignoring it in favor of overthinking. It was Cartman again. Kyle clicked open their text thread to see the last two messages. 

[Fatass - 9:45 p.m.] Hey  
[Fatass - 10:37 p.m.] Quit ignoring me asshole

Kyle typed out a quick response and sent it before he could overthink that, too. 

[To: Fatass - 10:38 p.m.] I’m not ignoring you. I was busy.

Kyle didn’t have to wait very long for his response. 

[Fatass - 10:38 p.m.] Yeah right  
[Fatass - 10:38 p.m.] Like how you were too busy to come over today?

Kyle gritted his teeth and called Cartman. It would be easier to argue when he didn’t have to squint at his screen because of how tired he was, he reasoned. 

Kyle started speaking as soon as he picked up. “Not that it’s any of your business what I do, but I already told you and the other guys that I was busy.” 

On the other end, Cartman scoffed. “Right, you’re sooo busy. Remind me again what it was you needed to rush home for?”

“I-,” Kyle tried in vain to remember what excuse he’d made. “It doesn’t matter! I don’t need to have a reason to not hang out with you guys.”

“Sure, you don’t. But I know when you’re lying. You were just as hyped for the new Red Dead as the rest of us, and then suddenly, without any complaints from you, you’re fine with the rest of us playing without you? Just because your brother needed tutoring? Come on, Kyle.”

Kyle cringed. Had he really used Ike of all people as an excuse? Anyone could see through that; Ike was a genius. “I’m sorry your feelings got hurt because I’d rather help Ike-”

Cartman interrupted, “And that is all the proof I need that you lied. You can’t even remember what excuse you used, can you? I’ll give you a hint, it had nothing to do with your brother.”

Kyle clenched the fist that didn’t already have a vice grip on his phone. “Fuck off, Cartman. I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

“Why not? Because we’re not friends?” Cartman asked, dragging the last word out in a mocking tone. “All that bullshit about ‘trusting each other’ and ‘being mature’ was just that, right? Bullshit.”

Kyle shook his head even though Cartman couldn’t see it. Cartman thought Kyle didn’t trust him, and in many ways, maybe Kyle didn’t. He did when it mattered though, and he didn’t want all their progress they’d made toward genuine friendship to go down the drain over something as totally stupid as this. “We are friends, dumbass, but that doesn’t mean I owe you an explanation.”

“Actually, Kyle, I’m pretty sure it does. You’d tell Stan, wouldn’t you?”

Kyle almost laughed at that. “Stan and I don’t talk about stuff like this,” Kyle replied. When silence met him, he realized that maybe he shouldn’t have said that. 

“Well, Jesus fuck, Kyle. What the hell is going on, then?”

Kyle bit his lip. How the hell was he supposed to get out of this conversation without putting all his cards on the table? 

“Look,” he started. “I’m, well, I’m kind of dealing with something right now.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

Kyle rolled his eyes. “Do you want to know or not?” he snapped.

Cartman yawned. “I’m listening.”

Okay. “Okay. I… I had a dream, the other day.”

“Exciting stuff, Kyle. Oh, wait,” Cartman’s tone brightened. “Was it a dirty dream?”

“No!” Kyle felt his ears burning as he lied. “It wasn’t! Are you going to listen or not, fatass? I don’t have time for you to keep interrupting me!”

“Jeez, alright, get the stick outta your ass. I’ll keep my interjections to a minimum.”

Kyle sighed. His face still felt hot, but at least Cartman couldn’t see that. “Good. Thank you.” He took a steadying breath. “So, I had this weird dream. And normally, I wouldn’t think anything of it, but it… I guess you could say it helped me realize something. And I’m not… I don’t know. I’m just trying to wrap my mind around it.”

Cartman didn’t say anything for a moment, likely waiting to see if Kyle was done. “So… what did you realize?” he asked, finally. 

“Just… it doesn’t matter. I’ve been avoiding you guys because I’ve been in my head all week thinking about this, but it’s nothing. I’ve accepted it.” he really hadn’t, he’d need at least another day to over-analyze every interaction he’d ever had with Cartman in their lives to be able to move on from this, but it was Friday, so he’d have all weekend for that. Hopefully. 

“So you’re just not going to tell me?” 

“Ideally? Yeah. It’s not, like, important or anything. It doesn’t really have any bearing on you, or Stan or Kenny, or anyone. It’s just something I needed to realize about myself.”

“Okay, just so we’re clear: you’ve been ignoring me, avoiding me at school, but it had nothing to do with me?” Cartman sounded like he didn't really believe it. Kyle couldn't even blame him.

“Yes,” Kyle lied again. “Are you done giving me the third degree over this?”

“Ugh, I guess. I’m still dying to know what your dream was about to freak you out so much, but I can’t force you to tell me.” A beat, and then, “Or can I?”

Kyle snorted involuntarily. He noted with mixed feelings of horror and some gooey emotion in his chest that he didn’t want to name that he’d missed talking to Cartman over the past few days. 

“Are you coming over tomorrow, then?” 

Kyle hummed in thought. “Maybe. I was supposed to do my essay tonight, but I’m too tired, so it has to wait until morning. Depending on how long that takes me… I don’t know.” 

“Fuck the essay. You already have the top grade in that class. Who cares if you turn it in? The public school education system is a joke, Kyle. You’re easily the smartest guy in this whole town, besides me of course. You don’t need a grade to tell you that.”

Oh, cool, there goes the fluttering in Kyle’s stomach. “It matters to me. Don’t worry, it won’t take me long to get this typed up. I’ll probably still have plenty of time to come over.”

“I’m holding you to that, so don’t you dare try to weasel your way out of this. I know your type-”

“Goodbye, Cartman.” Kyle heard him still trying to argue even as he disconnected the call. 

Alright. That had gone better than he expected it to. He wouldn’t get his extra day of wallowing like he would have preferred, but this was fine. Kyle plugged his phone into the wall and settled into bed, ready to fall into what he fervently hoped would be a dreamless state. 

Cartman’s compliment echoed in his head, though. _Smartest guy in the whole town_ , the mimicry of Cartman’s voice repeated. 

Kyle swore under his breath as he buried his face in his hands. “Why me?” he whined as his memory of the call distorted into fantasy. Kyle hoped his infatuation would be as short lived as all the crushes he’d had before, but somehow, he really doubted it.

**Author's Note:**

> i took the title from the first line of that Hercules song, "I won't say I'm in love" for obvious reasons. this is pretty much just a writing warm-up i did that i felt like was decent enough to post. also, i know nothing about red dead redemption, but i needed an upcoming video game title to put there, and while i know that will make the story dated to anyone who reads it after the game is released, i can't be bothered to change the line. 
> 
> no beta of course because we die like men, but yeah, i hope you enjoyed it if you made it this far! kudos and comments are always super appreciated, and thank you for reading!! xx


End file.
